I am meant to be resting

...as the Elf is asleep, but I can't because I foolishly stopped at the kebab shop on my way back home this morning for a coffee and after 2 sips I felt like I had just shot amphetamines into my aortic arch frankly there are some things that a) shouldn't be legal b) should at least carry health warnings c) should not knowingly be served to pregnant ladies.

Also the bits of me that aren't pregnant are packing up. I have a head full of snot and a voice like 40 fags. I can't sleep at night either. Feel my pain if you think you're hard enough!

On top of this physical woe
- I have not bought a single Christmas present
- I still have not done my tax return and
- I have not ordered a turkey, despite having 8 confirmed attendees for lunch.

I can't I can't I can't I can't I can't I can't I CAN'T.

*drinks tea dregs** and storms off huffily from computer*
** altered mental state result of caffeine poisoning?