The headmistress in my mind
Voice in head: Have you got a grip? You put people off when you act deranged.
Me: Yeah I know. I'm fine now.
VIH: What happened about the Christmas shopping?
Me: Well, I went on Amazon in the end. I hate shopping at the best of times, and I hate Christmas shopping most of all. And Swiss shops are rubbish anyway, so it seemed like a satisfactory solution.
VIH: What about the turkey?
Me: Sorted! Picking it up Christmas eve, all 4.5 kilos of its sorry ass.
VIH: Less of the bad language. Let's talk about the tax return.
Me: (looks at shoes)
VIH: Thought not. What's that you're drinking?
Me: Green tea. There's no caffeine in it. Apparently it's good for you.
VIH: Does it taste of twigs?
Me: Yes.
VIH: That makes it just about OK then. B for the turkey, D minus for Christmas shopping as it lacks imagination. E for the tax, obviously. I don't want to see you back here for a while, got that?
Me: OK. 'Bye.
3 Comments:
Swiss shops are very bad aren't they? I'm so pleased to have this reinforced by someone else. Swiss supermarkets make me want to cry. When I first moved here I spent about 3 hours in Migros looking for wine until someone explained that they didn't sell it.
A for the blog, though.
H: they are VERY VERY bad. Don't get me started on ladies' fashions and children's clothes or I will fly into an ugly rage.
M:Thanks - you got me into this game too, so that is high praise.
I would also get an A in washing up. I am very good at washing up.
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