Grandpa John

I first met John about 5 and a half years ago. Rob and I were going out, and we liked each other enough that it was time to Meet The Parents.

The first thing I noticed was his big, kind, brown eyes. The same as my boyfriend's, I thought back then. I also thought - in the breathless anticipation of the single girl - I'd quite like my children to look like these people. I'm happy to say my wish came true - uncannily so in Gloria's case. She is her grandfather, only tiny and female.

John was once a Lieutenant Commander in the Navy, and his service days were among the happiest in his life. He never said asmuch, but you could hear the lift in his voice and catch the twinkle in his eye as he spoke of them. The discipline he learnt came back with him to civvy street - he was a man of routine. Little things, like the making of breakfast, were important to John. An egg (always), toast and marmelade (same pot; same place), opera music in the background. Observing these things on the quiet, I found them strangely comforting.

He was a formal man, but not a stuffy one. He didn't mind being clambered on by the grandchildren, and his special knack for calming down toddlers made me envious. His manner with everyone was unfailingly gentle.

He was also shy and reserved, classically British; but he also could speak from the heart. When we celebrated their 25th wedding anniversary at the Basil Street Hotel, he paid tribute to Rosemarie, his wife, and his children as the "best things that have happened to me."

A self-effacing person, he couldn't bear to cause anyone trouble or grief. When he was diagnosed with cancer of the pancreas last August, his first worry was that he was letting his family down. But - a devoted Catholic all his life - he had hope. He faced his illness uncomplainingly and with dignity to the last.

For the past year, we have been telling Emma that Grandpa is "poorly". The other day, we told her that he was going to go and be with Jesus soon. Emma thought about this for a moment. "Will he sit on his lap?" she said.

For my Father's will is that everyone who looks to the Son and believes in him shall have eternal life, and I will raise him up at the last day. John 6:40

John went to sit on Jesus' lap on Monday July 9th 2007.