30 things to do on a rainy day in Lausanne

1. Stare out of window.
2. Put lego back in box.
3. Watch Emma tip lego onto floor.
4. Hold dummy in Gloria's mouth.
5. Breastfeed.
6. Hold power shower over faeces-encrusted clothes.
7. Hand wash faeces-encrusted bouncy chair.
8. Contemplate going to basement to use washing-machine.
9. Ditch the idea.
9. Wonder if I am like Bree van der Kamp.
10. Drink tea.
11. Wash up.
12. Stare at contents of fridge.
13. Wonder if I can make a lunch out of leftover rice and tomato puree.
14. Ditch the idea.
15. Read The Gruffalo three times.
16. Change nappies.
17. Make lunch: tomato and rice surprise!
18. Think I am probably not like Bree van der Kamp.
19. Put Gloria down for a sleep.
20. Listen to Gloria scream.
21. See no.4
22. Plead with Emma to eat lunch. ("But it's tomato and rice surprise!")
23. Look at clock: panic.
24 Rush around like headless chicken getting Emma ready for nursery
25 Take E to nursery.
26 Come back.
27. Remove wet clothes. Snuggle up in bed with Glorymouse and read Private Eye.
28. Drink tea. Stare.
29. See no 4. Wonder if Bree would approve of dummies.
30. Count minutes til R gets home.

Buff husband

Sheesh, I'm sorry, that was another long pause.

But it's all good. Gloria only woke up once last night! Emma nearly has all her teeth! Spring has sprung! Ah, happiness.

Now, about the title. R, the Switzergent, has always cycled to work, but now in a fit of spring enthusiasm, he has also started jogging at lunchtimes. He has lost about half a stone, and in short, he is looking a bit buff, a bit phwoar.

Wish I could say the same about me. I know I only had a baby 2 months ago, yadda yadda yeah whatever, but I am annoyed that I am still in my transitional jeans. (You know - pregnancy, jeans, normal jeans, and in the middle, obviously, transitional jeans.) What's more, I can't do the top button up. There is a lip of white blubberous overhang that won't shift, even when I'm sucking my belly in so hard my face has gone purple.

What do I doooo? Please don't say 'go on a diet.'* They are so rubbish. You may whisper 'exercise', especially as I am signed up for the 10km run again this year about which I am in a state of denial. Please, whatever you do don't suggest going back to my pregnancy jeans: I will burst into tears and never blog again, even though I suspect it might be a good suggestion.

* Unless it's the Binge-yourself-thin-on-dairy-milk type of diet.

Back in the headmistress' office

Headmistress: (sighs heavily). So. Back here again, Switzerlady. Would you like to explain why?
SL: No posts for over 10 days.
Headmistress: What was that? Speak up!
SL: No posts for over 10 days.
Headmistress: And why's that?
SL: Well, I admit Gloria is thriving now, she only wakes up twice a night and everyone here is in a much better mood. Now instead of screaming she likes to lie and stare and kick and gurgle, like a sweet baby from an advert..
HM: (interrupting) None of which explains your truancy, Switzerlady
SL: ..I was getting to that, um, you see the problem with all this sleep is that her bed is in the sitting room. Where the computer is.
HM: And?
SL: I can't be on the computer when she's asleep. It's um, ..too noisy.
HM: Too noisy? Finger tapping? Too noisy? It's hardly thrash metal, is it? Very well, I'll give you the benefit of the doubt. However I'm sure there is plenty of time during the day when she's not asleep.
SL: I know, but Emma hates it when I do stuff on the computer. When I sit down to type she screams and pulls at my clothes until I leave it and do things with her instead..
HM: ..oh diddums. Enough. (Rustles paper in a menacing way.) Frankly I think it's sick that you think it fit to use your children as an excuse for your own inadequacy. 100 lines, please: Lazy Posters Will Be Drowned In Custard.
SL: (shuffles from foot to foot) Can I go to the loo, please?
HM: Get out.

Pros and cons

Hello, I'm back from my holiday to the dark side. I think. Things are still quite tough but I feel quite a bit better for the following reasons 1. Glorymouse came out of hospital, several tonnes of snot lighter and more settled generally. 2 Emma now thinks that talking is the new black. She sits in her cot and twitters things like "wow!" and "oh no!" and "yes!". 3. It's been snowing which makes everything look like it's covered in fabulous royal icing and the view from my bedroom is breathtaking. 4. My mummy who came on a mercy dash on Monday and has been so helpful I could cry.

On the other hand, Glorymouse is getting congested again and still wakes up at least four times a night, nor does she nap for longer than 20 mins at a time during the day and when she is awake, she is quite fretful. 2. So I spend alot of time with her, worrying that Emma is being neglected. 3. It's been snowing and not ideal conditions to be hauling newborns around in. Besides, babies are rubbish at winter sports. 4. I have just realised that my mummy is thinner and more glamourous than me.

Good news: Gloria came out of hospital yesterday, her pipes noticeably clearer. She woke twice the night before last, and got back to sleep within half an hour both times.
Bad news: Today her breathing is very rattly (again), and last night she was awake at least half the night. No fever though.

I am trying to resist the urge to beg the hospital to keep her in until Spring.

And I've decided on a blog holiday until things improve. This situation is getting me down enough as it is - I can't face writing about it any more.

Bonnes Vacances.

Here's a nice picture to cheer us all up