Robbed!

ROBBERY IN QUIET LAUSANNE STREET!*

Police were called this morning after it was discovered that thieves had broken into the basement of a block of flats in central Lausanne. Every single resident's cave had been broken into by force, though it is unclear how much was actually stolen.

BIG AS A BABY ELEPHANT!

One heavily-pregnant lady, described by one onlooker as "grande, comme un petit elephant" and accompanied by a small, blonde Snow Elf described the scene: "Someone had obviously been through the contents of the cave because everything was a mess and bags had been ripped open. When the robber saw that they were full of old baby clothes he must have moved on to richer pickings."

ARMED AND DANGEROUS!

Two police officers were present at the scene, both of whom were noted to have excellent physiques and carrying guns. The pregnant lady was overheard giggling and asking to be "shown the weaponry." Her request was ignored.

This article first appeared in Big 'n' Busty magazine.

*this is actually a true story, apart from a) no-one said I was 'big as a baby elephant', though this would not be an untruth b) I didn't ask the policeman about his weaponry (though I might have flirted a teeny weeny bit) and c) I'm not sure there is a magazine called BnB.