Ye Holy Angels Bright!!

I've just had the best - and the worst - visit to the post office. Got a little note saying I had a parcel waiting, so off I scampered on a very chilly afternoon. There was a long queue. Eventually, my turn came.
"Bonjour, Madame!" said the yellow-clad post office employee.
"Bonjour, Madame!" I replied, before noticing my addressee was a very tall man, and bearded. (Giggles from the queue behind.) "Oh, err, sorry, je'mexcuse etc etc"
"Yes, zare ez a parcel, but eez really for you?" said he (we are quite matey incidentally, I go to this post office a lot.) "Eet say on front, "FRAU BOSOM."
I know exactly what he's talking about and try and mumble something indiscriminate. "oui,oui, er...c'est un...c'est un" before failing to explain in French it's a nickname from my Tooting parentcrafters (by the way I LOVE YOU ALL!) to do with breastfeeding and bosoms and so on. (Goes bright red.)
"Oui, BOSOM? BOSOM? Ah, "BOSOM!" HAHAHAHAHAHA!" (more giggling from the queue behind.)

I scuttle out, very pink and flustered, but with the biggest, fattest, juiciest-looking parcel ever and a very big lump in my throat when I think of their blummin' reckless generosity and loveliness.

I haven't opened it because it's not Christmas yet and that would be wrong.