I urgently need a change in my media life. I'm not talking about getting a TV, even though I know that BB6 has just started, filling me with all kinds of urges. I need a new English-speaking radio station, one that isn't World Radio Geneva.

I can't take anymore of the rubbish, irony-free jokes and the flabby pop singles, especially that Rachel Stevens one that goes "the-case-is-closed-I-won't-negotiate-with-love." Please reassure me that this is not a hit back home, that my countryfolk are more discerning. The adverts make me want to lie down and weep. Example:

"Moving abroad? Then Harsh Transports is here to help. Let Harsh Transports take care of your national treasures and give you peace of mind! Trust our professional moving team and let -*sound of articulated lorry carreering along motorway, about to crash*-Harsh Transports take the load!"

This is not meant to be funny. In fairness, I think they are Harsch or Hersch transports, but this is R-A-D-I-O, people, and I would never entrust my worldly goods to Harsch/Hersch/Harsh transports anymore than I would fly Deathtrap Airlines, even if it only happened to be owned by Mr and Mrs Dethtrapp.

They have the world service news, though, which is a good thing, and a very good (BBC) music programme on in the evenings.

The Snow Elf awakes, my time is up.