We went to Bern on Saturday. It was like being in a different country. It was also my first real exposure to schwitzer deutsch, and I am still traumatised. 9 years ago I did a degree in German, so stick me in Germany and I can still just about get from A to B though not grammatically and lots of gesturing. Not so in Bern. We went into 2 restaurants, and both times I felt my brain short circuit as I tried to make my order a) because my brain is trying very hard to be in France and b) because I could only recognise about 1 word in 5 when anyone spoke """"German"""to me. Schwitzer deutsch is like hearing Germans speaking Welsh. So I just sat there like a fish, noiselessly opening and and shutting its mouth until the waiter asked me again what I wanted in English. Just as well, as that way I managed to avoid the tongue sausage (the regional specialty, mmm! mmm!) Still, it made me feel like a bit of a failure.

In Bern they are also big on bears. Pictures of bears everywhere, as well as actual bears in sunken stone enclosures on the edge of the old town. It doesn't look that uncomfortable in there - there are ponds and lots of greenery and a ball on a stick (like a medieval mace) for them to play with. But still, if I were a bear I think I would much rather be roaming the Rocky mountains, scaring the trekkers. It must be tedious having tourists pointing and dogs barking at you all day. I'm not a zoologist or anything, but I think they definitely looked bored.