Three things that have gone wrong today

1. Emma's outfit
..composed of a lilac matinee jacket with matching trousers, a miniature white polo shirt and pink shoes. She looks like she should be on a Saga golfing holiday in Florida.

2. Emma's lunch
..which was an undercooked poached egg on a bed of undercooked asparagus. I was trying to re-create the meal I had in a restaurant last night (clock that, we went out), but I should have left it to the professionals. She didn't eat it because I couldn't bring myself to offer her any. (I gave her bread and strawberries instead.)

3. My hair
..because I washed it. And now it is big. Big. If I leave it, the style is OK, but that's because it's stuck together with grease. Rock, hard place; you see?