Dr Happy Frankfurter

Had my first gynae appointment with Dr Happy Frankfurter. She lived up to my Swiss stereotype of being extremely thorough and getting very into the science of it all. I was in there for an hour, having a million questions asked (am I immune to cytomegalovirus? No idea. Like asking if I'm immune to green monkey disease), five vacutainers of blood taken and a scan. Not much to see at 8 and a half weeks, except a teeny tiny blob - all looking good, thank God.
"And remember," said Dr Frankfurter, "don't eat lettuce in restuarants because you don't know whether it's been washed!"
"Right-o" I replied, blowing a carefully-crafted smoke ring in her direction and pouring myself another tequila slammer. "No unwashed lettuce. Will do, doc."
We meet again in one month's time.