Thanks, all for your enquiring after Emma's welfare. My Snow Elf is very much better, thank you. She looks it, don't you think? And Mumps is looking pretty smart, too. Look at that coat! Look at those big, doggy jowls!

Mum and Dad, on the other hand, have been better.

Dad has a mystery virus that has kept him feverish and in bed for three days. This equals approximately 1 day off work, 1 quiet weekend, 3 litres of water, 10 paracetamol, 1 change of pyjamas, zero shaving opportunities, 1 resentful strop (Mum's), the entire No 1 Ladies' Detective Agency book series and 1 episode of Alias on DVD.

Mum is feeling a bit bereft after lovely visit from Best Friend, and a bit tired and homesick generally. Hence the inspiration for this poem:

Hey, Nonny Nonny
Hey Nonny, Hey
The Alps aren't a patch on
Tooting Broadway.