Switzerlady "not dead"

Switzerlady is 100 per cent, definitely "not dead," say sources close to the haggard-and-glamourous-all-at-the-same-time mother of two.

Despite a postage drought, a friend close to the star said everything was OK, but that she had been on "holiday". As a result of the "holiday" she is suffering "nervous exhaustion" and "absolutley, positively not dead at all" continues the source.

Ladybird (see links opposite) says "I met up with her in London's fashionable Tootingavia, and she didn't seem dead to me.. she was a bit vacant but she's always been like that."

Switzerlady would like to tell her fans how much she loves them, and she will be back to full postage strength after a few days with sedatives in a dark, quiet place.